Is it better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?

Morgan knew she was right and didn’t argue. “Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” She said.

What do you think? Is it? What about the one that got away? Where is he/she now? Do you ever think about them? Do you even have one? Or are you one of the lucky ones that married your true love right out of high school and have been with them ever since. One of the fortunate ones that married twenty-five years ago and are still happily married, is that you?

Or are you like me. I had one that got away. It wasn’t a great love affair like Romeo and Juliet, or Edward and Bella or even Rob and Morgan. I was in the army at Fort Sam Houston, Texas taking my AIT (Advanced Individual Training) to become a Combat Medic and I met him. He was young and handsome, very handsome. I met him at the NCO club and we danced and laughed and had fun. Nothing major happened. Nothing minor happened. But it was nice, for lack of a better word. I can’t even remember where he was from, somewhere in New England I think. His name was Todd and he was a highway patrolman. (Ok, yeah, the whole man-in-uniform thing really melts my butter.) He was sweet and we were young and far away from home and we hit it off. I do remember he was a very good kisser. (Side note here; don’t you miss making out?)

When the training got more intense, we lost touch with each other and I ended up leaving Texas without his address or phone number. To this day, I’ve wondered about Todd. Hopefully he lived happily every after.

There are a few old beaus that I will gladly admit I wished I had never met. (And don’t even get me started on the one’s I regret sleeping with!)  There is even one that I wished I’d never married. But that too gave me many experiences not to mention two children that I love more than life itself. I guess we take the ex-boyfriends, the ex-husbands and the ever-loving ones that got away and we live our lives with the fond memories and good experiences that have made us the person that we are today.

One thing I haven’t mentioned is the fact that sometimes they come back into our lives. Who knows why? Is it Kismet, is it just one of those things or is it just meant to be? I don’t know if I believe that there is only one soul mate for each of us or not. What do you think, Dear Reader? I’m curious to know your opinion. When we were made in Heaven, did the Lord put on earth another soul for us and was it God’s intention that we meet them and spend the rest of our lives with them? If that is true, then what about the serial killers and wife abusers in the world, do they have a soul mate? Had to think about it, didn’t you? 

In PESCADERO CREEK, Morgan doesn’t realize she’s actually lonely until she meets Rob. Her life is consumed with work and running. Whatever is left is spent with her friends. But when he comes along her life changes. Suddenly she realizes her life was empty and she was alone. It’s that fear of being alone that actually contributes to her becoming alone again.

Tears filled Morgan’s eyes and rolled down her cheeks uncontrollably. She drove through the gate and parked in front of the house. She sat there awhile trying to figure out what had just happened. Did he just tell her that he thought they shouldn’t see each other anymore? Morgan was confused and  couldn’t remember what she had said to him. Whatever it had been, she hadn’t meant it. She couldn’t imagine not seeing him anymore. Dr. Staci must have been right. She should get out of this relationship now if it was true. When she finally got out of her SUV, it suddenly seemed very windy and cold. She walked into the empty house alone heading straight upstairs to her room. It was Lilly’s night off and the house was quiet. She felt  very alone in the empty hall and sat in the middle of the great staircase letting the tears come.

They fell down her face and onto her lap. Her shoulders shook with her sobs. She listened to her own breathing in the empty house. The same thing that had brought him here was now taking him away. She knew he was right. For their own safety they had to stay apart. She was the idiot that had fallen in love with him after all, Rob had never promised her anything nor had he ever talked about the future. She went upstairs and lay on her bed curling up into a little ball. Rob would leave just like everyone else in her life had.

From the Heart

Confession: I have a confession to make. I saw the movie Twilight before I read the book. I know, I know. I heard about the books and I honestly thought they were for teenagers, so I blew them off. Who was I to judge? Anyway I saw the movie, out of curiosity, and I fell head over heels for the main characters, Edward and Bella. I had never heard of Rob Pattinson and barely recognized Kristen Stewart (Recognize the names Rob and Stewart from PESCADERO CREEK? Yeah, that’s my homage to Twilight.) from movies I had seen her in. But there was something about their chemistry in the movie that I absolutely loved. The way he touches her chest when he delivers that line about the lion falling in love with the lamb, you remember the hand on the chest move right after he sparkles and throws a few trees? Anyway, the way he looks at her when they are dancing at Prom is so moving. Yeah, I know I sound like a big goober, but I love romance in any way, shape or form. Whether it be a touch, a caress, a look, a glance or any subtle action that says more than words ever could.  A good book or even a good movie is full of them.

I finally bought the Twilight Saga in print and with much prodding from my friend Nicole, I read them. At the risk of sounding like a teenager myself, OMG! In love all over again. Then I read them again, I think in all fairness, reading a book twice is necessary to catch everything the author intended. Just for good measure I bought the books on audio CD and listened to them on my many trips to North Carolina. The third time guess what? I still picked up on things that I missed the first and second time I read them. Isn’t that why we buy books, to read them over and over again?

Kathleen E. Woodiwiss is my all time favorite author. Sadly she passed away from a battle she lost with cancer. She wrote historical romances: A Rose in Winter, Ashes in the Wind and Shanna are three of my favorites in that order. When I was eighteen I started reading these books and read them annualy for many years.  But as time went by and I got busy with work and my boys, I neglected to read the books and I lost my annual romance fix. Only when time permitted, could I read them. My loss, for sure! The three I mentioned are filled with the subtle movements and words that make a romance what it is. Ok, I promise I’m not babbling!

It’s that glance he gives her when he knows she is not looking, it’s the time he spends standing over her watching her while she is sleeping (That’s a big one! You will find it in Twilight, A Rose in Winter, Shanna, PESCADERO CREEK and UNDERCOVER.) There is something so sexy about a man watching the woman he loves while she is unaware of it. Subtlety, makes all the difference. In PESCADERO CREEK I have filled the chapters with subtleties that I feel are romantic. This week’s excerpt is actually a collection of  excerpts that are romantic and super sexy. There is nothing more sexy than a man who opens a door for me or pulls a chair out for me to sit in. Chivalry is not dead, if you look real hard while watching your favorite movie or re-read that favorite novel- you will find it. Watch a Jane Austin movie, Pride and Prejudice or Sense and Sensibility or better yet, read the books. Romance is sexy, it’s moving, it’s sensual and I love it! Read on and enjoy!

She pulled off her gloves and started to climb up the slick bank. Agent McAllister held out his hand to help her. She looked up at him for a moment and then took his hand. He pulled her up the bank where she pulled off her jacket and tossed it over her shoulder. She started toward her SUV to remove the waders and return them to the recovery team. Rob followed along beside her. She pulled at her muddy boots bracing herself against her vehicle. She stood in her soggy shoes and damp blue jeans smiling at one of the men who had stepped over to get the waders back. “Thank you, I guess I should invest in a pair of those.” She told him. The agent stood over her; he seemed taller out there and more handsome. She found it very difficult to concentrate on her work when he was around. She wondered if he had the same problem.

 ***

“I do.” She said and walked around to the front of her vehicle. He appeared beside her and opened her door. “Dr. Warren.” He said.

“Thank you, Agent McAllister.” She said. He turned and joined Chief back on the creek bank.

She found it hard to gather her senses for a minute. She fastened her seat belt and started the Explorer feeling disappointed he wouldn’t be coming by later.

***

Rob filled Morgan’s empty glass from the bottle of water the officer had brought him. “Thank you.” She said looking into his blue-green eyes.

 He smiled enough to show his dimples but didn’t say anything.

For some reason it bothered him that the officer had acted the way she had in front of her. He didn’t want Morgan to think there was anything between them.  He ate his sandwich and tried to figure out why he felt that way.

Rob knew he and Morgan had gotten off on the wrong foot and he was trying to remedy that. He might need her help in the future on this case, after all she was not stupid, just inexperienced and she was very nice to look at. He leaned over her and poured her another glass of water. He got close enough to her to smell her hair. Her scent was almost intoxicating; she smelled most unique. He had never smelled a fragrance like that before and he found it very arousing.

Agent McAllister was lingering a little long over Dr. Warren and she cleared her throat to get his attention. “Thank you, again.” She said as she took the glass and drank the water. He backed off and tried to be cool acting like nothing had just happened. She knew she hadn’t imagined it. He had gotten so close to her that she could see the darker turquoise flecks in his eyes and she could have sworn he smelled her hair.

***

He lightly kissed her lips and face as she slept. He lay there awhile on his side looking at her and running his hand over her stomach. She rolled on her side towards him seeking his warmth.  He buried his face in her hair, “I love you, Morgan.” He whispered as he pulled her to him. Some nights just having her next to him was enough. It was definitely one of those nights.

 Insert heavy sigh!

Pescadero Creek Excerpt (2)

Here’s another excerpt from Pescadero Creek. This is from one of the Chapters that I sent to an agency for consideration. Please keep your fingers crossed that they like the Chapters and want to publish the book. Hope you like it, too.

She drove along Highway 1 overlooking the Pacific exiting off onto Cabrillo Highway, then downtown to Pacifica General. She pulled the SUV into the parking spot designated for DR. M. WARREN, ME. She climbed down from the front seat and secured her belongings while she headed for the back stairs to the morgue. The fog was heavier around the hospital since it sat so close to the water causing her to have to walk through the thick moist clouds to get to the back door. She didn’t mind, she was used to it, Pacifica was always foggy. She had grown up and spent most of her life there with the only exception being the eight years she spent in Boston attending medical school.  Becoming a doctor by the age of twenty-seven, she had followed in her father’s footsteps and had perfectly fulfilled every one of his expectations. She had planned to return to the east coast after a brief time at home, but an unforeseen tragedy would lay waste to any plans she’d had for her immediate future.

For those of you lucky enough to have ever been to the Bay Area, you get the picture! It is beautiful, and in all the places I have ever been in the United States, San Francisco is by far the most beautiful. The rugged cliffs along the Pacific are breathtaking.  Highway 1 runs along the Pacific Coast and one of the most winding and dangerous roads I have ever been on. It is hard to capture the beauty of it in words.  

I actually used to get tears in my eyes every time we would drive across the Golden Gate Bridge. Whether the bay was covered in a low layer of fog or if it was a bright sunny day and the sailboats were so thick on the water you could stir them; it was absolutely magnificent.

Thanks for reading! Please leave a comment.

Pescadero Creek Is Getting Great Reviews!

Of course I have dedicated my first book to my awesome family who has given me their full support! Now that I have finished the book (For now! Hopefully I won’t have to do a re-write when the editors get a hold of it.) I am depending on the fam to read it. For all of you that have read it, please leave a comment and be honest! If there is something you didn’t “get” or you didn’t like-let me know! Just keep in mind there is a sequel and the story will continue on some of the little things I may have left you hanging on! My son, twenty-five year old Michael and his girlfriend Candace, same age, have a copy and are reviewing it for me. My husband Mike has read it and seems to be excited about it. Ok, I know he would not give his wife a bad review, but I also know he would not have finished it if he hadn’t like it. He would read it at night after I had already gone to bed and the next morning, before he even said good morning, would ask me questions about the story. Thanks, Fam, for your help and please remember, when you leave a comment, please don’t give too much of the story away!

Excerpt from Pescadero Creek

For those of you who would like a sneak peek of PC, here’s a nibble. The story takes place in Pacifica, California. Some of you may remember I lived in Pacifica a short time in 1997-98 and it has always stayed with me. It is a beautiful little city below San Francisco and for some reason is always covered in fog. I always knew if I ever wrote a book it would take place in California. 

Special Agent Robert McAllister is the reinforcement the county has brought in to stop the five-year-long murdering spree and bring the killer to justice. It won’t take too much to figure out what has just happened in this section. :)

An hour later she slipped from his side as Rob lay on his stomach across the bed in peaceful slumber. He snored softly as she looked at his handsome face. She watched him for a few minutes as she sat on the bed next to him. His face was relaxed and free from the stress she knew he was under. Her stomach filled with butterflies when she thought about the intimate things they had just done together. She had never done some of those things with any man. There had only been one other and it had been different with him. He wasn’t as giving as Rob. She had let Rob do whatever he wanted to with her; trusting him exclusively. If she weren’t careful, she thought, she just might fall in love with him. The thought of him leaving made her sad all of a sudden. He would leave, after the case was solved, he would head back to Los Angeles. She wanted to kiss his cheek, but she didn’t dare risk waking him. With that in mind she quietly dressed and slipped out the front door noiselessly. She should make a clean break now, before she got too involved, even though deep down she knew she already was.

Anyone want to read more?

Undercover

I spent the day UNDERCOVER. My new book, the sequel to PESCADERO CREEK is underway. This book is a little more intense than the first one. In PESCADERO CREEK, Rob and Morgan work together to solve the case of the Pescadero Creek Killer. As intense as it is to read about a serial killer who strangles (among other things) his victims and dumps their bodies in the creek, this second book will lead you into an exciting ride with Agent Rob McAllister when he goes undercover to flush out some illegal drug traffickers. I spent the day going over some sections I had written a couple of weeks ago when the idea popped into my head to do a sequel. Like I said, it is intense, I spent the day in tears as it has some major “sad parts”. I feel it will be as greatly accepted as PESCADERO CREEK. Stay tuned! Anyone know any agents?